Pizza @ 2014 Oscars.
I love you Ellen
BEST. THING. EVER.
I CANT BREATH LORD JESUS CHRIST FUCK OMG
O.O Did I just assist to some live up to the minute poisoning act?
|—||Haruki Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart (via heatherlbjeong)|
"why don’t you have your homework?"
"If you love cooking with garlic, you know it does a lot of good in recipes by helping build flavor — but its strong odor can linger for hours, especially on our hands. We’ve all been in the situation where after preparing a wonderful meal, we’re left with the stench of garlic on our fingers — yuck! There are a few tricks people often recommend to eliminate the smell: lemon juice or vinegar, rubbing your hands with salt, or even using toothpaste! But those don’t work — all they do is mask the garlic smell. So what does really work? Stainless steel."
cooking with garlic? jerk off your sink
When people compare the greatness that is The Simpsons to other animated shows like Family Guy it makes me want to set myself on fire
HOW CAN WE BE HAPPY ?
Once a group of 50 people was attending a seminar.
Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each one a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.
Now these delegates were let in that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written, within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others and there was utter chaos.
At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon.
Now each one was asked to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it.
Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.
The speaker began— exactly this is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.
Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness.
And this is the purpose of human life.